Dating can be tricky for us 30-something ladies; we’re at an age where we know ourselves and aren’t willing to compromise who we are, but like maybe we would for the right guy? Luckily for me I’ve got lots of girlfriends to turn to with my dating woes, and I thought I should share some great advice I’ve picked up over the years:
1. Never smile/make eye contact/touch/talk to/engage with a male you are interested in, but be sure to get upset when he doesn’t ask you on a date.
If he is a stranger across a bar, decide that all men are scum. If he is a friend or acquaintance, be sure to act the exact same way the next time you see him to see if he gets the hint and decides to pursue you. Repeat as necessary until he gets a girlfriend and you spend six months wondering why he doesn’t like you.
2. Never ever EVER be forward with a man.
Aggressive flirting (i.e. conversations that spark his interest) is frowned upon. Telling a man you like him is a huge NO. Asking a man on a date is absolutely unthinkable and leaves you looking needy.
3. Always make a man chase you.
Even though men don’t worry or think about things in depth, be sure to leave him wondering why you read his message but have yet to reply. Pretend you don’t care if he talks to you ever again. Never text first. Don’t be afraid of playing games. This is the only way males know how to date and anything else will turn them off.
4. The quality of a man or a relationship does not matter.
If he says he really likes you, then the fact that he hasn’t messaged you for two weeks doesn’t mean anything. He was probably just busy! At least a guy is talking to you, right?
5. Know you are weaker than he is.
We all know that men are level-headed pillars of strength and women possess no ability to be emotionally stable, so don’t forget your place. Never let him know how you feel, lest you let the crazy show.
6. Men should always pay on first dates.
Come on. This is just a given!
There you have it! Take this advice to heart and go out there to find yourself a man! Forget about that great job you have or that solo travel you did; your life is nothing without a man in it, so with a few small changes to the core of your being, you can land a man and be totally unable to express yourself for the rest of your life. Can’t wait!
Happy hunting =)
*Girlfriends who gave this advice included, but are not limited to, Friend Who Has Been Single For As Long As I’ve Known Her, Friend Who Still Isn’t Over Her Ex From Five Years Ago And Can’t Let It Go Even Though He Was A Dickbag, Woman I Met For 20 Minutes At A Bar Once, and Girl Who Married The Guy She Met In First Year University And Has Never Actually Dated Anyone. Male friends who gave dating advice mostly just said something akin to “be yourself”.