I WANT

There are a lot of things I want right now.

I WANT a job
I WANT money
I WANT David Duchovny to kiss me tenderly while holding me from behind
I WANT to eat, like, sixty nanimo bars
I WANT to lose, like, sixty nanimo pounds (those are the pounds in your body that are made up of delicious things, FYI)

The last month of my life has been a lot of weird WANTs, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I ultimately WANT out of the next year. I WANT all those things mentioned above, but I know, ultimately, that none of them will help me be the best Jenny I can be. When I think back to the happiest times in my life, they’ve always been when I was healthy, active, making people laugh, helping people, inspiring others…when I was fueling myself with awesome, I was running on awesome, and everything was awesome around me. So what do I WANT? I WANT awesome.

This here is a good start.

This here is a good start.

I WANT to do improv and sketch again. I miss it so much. I have no idea how to get back into the scene here after being gone so long, so it’s a bit intimidating…but I really feel the need to be on stage again deep down in my bones.

I WANT to help people. I want to keep thoughts like “may my actions contribute to the happiness of all” in the forefront of my mind. That means everything from volunteering somewhere to not getting angry when someone shoves me on the subway. I’ve always thought I was put here to help others, and I’ve been pretty self-centered┬áthe last few years.

I WANT to inspire people to travel. From massive adventures to first time solo trips to weekend jaunts in a new neighbourhood, I want to spread the message that travel is accessible and anyone, anywhere, can do it. Travel has become a huge part of my life and has changed me in ways I don’t even fully understand yet, so if I can get people traveling and/or exploring their own cities with fresh eyes, maybe I’ll help them discover something awesome about themselves.

I WANT to stop being lazy. People tell me I’m not lazy; I’m physically active and am always on the go with social engagements and stuff like that…but when it comes down to it, I can be preeeeettty lazy. I’ll put off emails, let dishes pile up, and instead of reading a book or meditating or working on my memory (I have a really bad memory so I try to do memory exercises NERDALERT) I’ll watch shitty reality TV. I can be supes lazy.

I WANT to be a wedding/event coordinator. I had no idea how scary it would be to actually sit down and develop a business plan and stuff like that. Like, there’s a lot involved. And it’s scary. And sometimes when things get scary, I run from them. But I know, deep down, that coordinating events is what I should be doing professionally…so I’ve just gotta do it.

I WANT to do yoga again. Holy crap how amazing did I feel when I was doing yoga? I miss it and I have such a hard time getting my ass off the couch and doing it at home, but my wallet is way too thin right now to afford classes…but damn, I felt good. Same with meditating. And flossing. And kale.

I WANT to develop the relationships that really matter in my life, and focus my time and energy on them/those people. I love some people dearly, but rarely make time for them because I’m too busy doing XYZ*
*XYZ = watching Ghost Hoarders Wedding Bakeoff

I WANT to eat, like, one nanimo bar. Because portion control is important and*stuffs face with nanimo bar so quickly she doesn’t even taste it*

So. These are the more ‘important’ WANTs in my life, and these are the WANTs that I’m going to try and focus on (though when April 1 comes around that ‘job/money/rent’ thing will be PRETTY important).┬áThese WANTs will bring me much happiness and will make life a bit brighter. By focusing on these WANTs, I can help others, help myself, and up the awesome in my life. I WANT to be more awesome. I CAN be more awesome. I can help YOU be more awesome. I can help the WORLD be a bit more awesome.

I promise to stop using the word ‘awesome’.

What are your WANTs?

4 thoughts on “I WANT

  1. Sometimes the busiest people think of themselves as lazy. Not because they ARE lazy but becuase they know there is soooo much stuff on their to do list that every waking second not working on something feels like laziness. Cut yourself some slack! :)

    Wants are great to inspire ourselves and keep us focused. But not getting there instantly is normal. Dreams take time.

    I have lots of wants and carry a notebook full of lists: of stuff to do, stuff to buy etc. I think the main thing is to understand that these lists that we write on paper or in our hearts are wants and not needs.

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